What is the secret of a successful life? Why do some people seem to always succeed no matter the challenges life throws at them and others seem to be trapped in a never-ending cycle of pain and suffering?
“The human spirit, like a campfire, must be lit again each day.” - Steve Chandler
I recently spoke with a music teacher in a small town in the middle of the USA. She was in a desperate state as she originally had a very strong roster of 31 to 40 students for 13 years but now has only a handful and is struggling to make ends meet. She’s an excellent teacher who plays and teaches seven instruments! But after over twenty years of professional experience, she can’t even make her rent payment.
So many creative, talented, amazing people suffer from this. I struggled for years with it too!
What is it?
It’s the problem of victimhood. She, and others like herself, have settled into the role of victim. She’s waiting for an external force to change her life. The problem is, no one is coming. She needs to make the shift from victim to owner. She needs to take complete responsibility for her current state of results;Good, bad or otherwise. Only by stepping into that role of an owner can she start to turn her life around.
“Owners focus on what they want. Victims focus on what they fear. And both positions are pure internal invention.” - Steve Chandler
We human beings have created emotional and mental patterns, routines and behaviors to “define" our personas. We believe we are how we think, look and feel right now. And most of us think this is permanent. It’s not. Your personality and ways of being, are really a collection of habitual states.
When I was in my twenties, I dived deeply yet briefly into an acting career in theater, independent film and television. I was so intrigued by the portrayal of completely different people by the same actor. Nowadays, this seems harder to find, as most celebrities act as themselves in every film.
Have you ever seen a film with Daniel Day Lewis? He is completely different every time. I also love how Ralph Fiennes portrays such completely different beings in Schindler’s List to The English Patient to Harry Potter. But my favorite has always been Robert DeNiro. His transformation from the gaunt, haunting Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver to the goofy, psychotic Rupert Pupkin in The King of Comedy to the beefy boxer Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull is just incredible.
How do actors completely shift their beings for a 6 month film shoot? For many, it starts from the inside by shifting beliefs. For others, it’s starts outside in through behavior and actions. It’s incredibly disciplined as it needs to happen within a short period of time.
This actor’s way can also be applied to real life. You get to be the casting director. You choose who you want to become. So why not choose your perfect future?
“Self concept is destiny” - Nathaniel Branden
Here’s my steps to reinventing yourself.
1- Be the Owner - be fully responsible for all results in your life.
From today onward, you fully accept everything happening in your life to be a direct consequence of your choices, feelings, beliefs both conscious and unconscious. There are no accidents. It’s exactly how you created your life to be.
2 Feed your mind
Start thinking differently. There’s a plethora of great books by the likes of Wayne Dyer, Jen Sincero, Bob Proctor, Joe Dispenza, Louise Hays, Shakti Gawain, Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Steve Chandler, the list goes on and on.
3- Choose a new destination
Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Write down your goals. Visualize them. Commit to your new vision.
4 - Take Action
“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” - Lao Tzu
One of the best actions you can take is to find a mentor to help you choose which actions to take now and which to hold off until later. A mentor has already achieved what you want and can save you so much time, energy and money.
5- Measure your results
Knowing where you are now and where you want to go is essential. All airplanes are off course 99% of the time. Which leads to the next step...
6 - Correct your course
Take the wheel and steer. You need to constantly adjust to what life throws at you. It’s in these moments of reaction that true greatness is revealed.
7- Celebrate every small win along the way!
It’s important for your mental health and rejuvenation to celebrate your wins. Don’t wait for big milestones. Celebrate every single day. This trains your mind to constantly be seeking the positive in all of the noise.
Success is not going to happen in a weekend or from a single Facebook post. But taking positive action every single day moves you forward. I really like this book Reinventing Yourself by Steve Chandler. It just may start you on your path to recovery from victimhood to owner.
And if you feel qualified to own a massively successful music school, let’s chat.